The actress puzzled fans with “confession” on Instagram.

Over the past six months, Evangeline Lilly has radically changed her image: in the autumn she cut her hair very much, and in January she dyed her blonde. Probably, the change of image became for the actress a symbol of a new stage in life.

She recently shared her photo with dark long hair and admitted that last year was very difficult for her. But Evangeline did not specify what exactly happened to her.

Many say that I’m better with a brunette. Well, there she is, that brunette a year ago. Last year was very difficult for me. I didn’t want to share this because I didn’t want to turn into a dark cloud above your heads. I always wanted to bring joy and light to the world. But I was tormented by the feeling that I was what others wanted to see me. I often feel alone and invisible

– writes Lilly on the microblog.

View this post on Instagram

#fbf #flashbackfriday Yesterday many of you said “brunette”. Well, here she is, about a year ago today. I had such a rough year last year but I didn’t want to share all of it with you because i didn’t want to be a dark cloud in your world. All I’ve ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine. I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad. But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen. . I have always known I was strong. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else’s also. So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain. . Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or…carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me. . I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share. . But I ask myself…would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it? . 📷 taken by my four-year-old son #whenbabieshavecameras . #lightanddarkness

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The actress admitted that for a long time she suppressed pain and kept everything in herself. But at some point I could not stand it.

I always knew that I was strong. I held in myself both my own and others’ pain. In public, I hid it, I laughed at my pain. Until last year. I have broken. Suddenly I had to meet with my weakness and limitation, with my trauma and fears. I had a choice: to accept all this or continue to deny what would ultimately kill me.

Now I’m slowly getting up. But I feel myself moving away from you. It seems to me pointless to share my light with you when you do not know my darkness. I feel lost and apathy in this space of ours. And I ask myself: would you like to go through the darkness with me if I shared with you?

– concluded the actress in a mysterious publication.